Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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