i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
