Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
