"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
