Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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