Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
