She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
