he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize