M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am naked and annoyed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
