you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
