they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
