biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
