How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
