She's JV to your varsity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
