even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
