she smelled like a LAN party
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
