thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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