If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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