Can i not drive my cunt home
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
