we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize