'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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