I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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