Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can I color on your dick again?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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