Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
