i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
