"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
