i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
