What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
