i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
