I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
