just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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