I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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