office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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