i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
