I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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