3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
