Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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