the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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