when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They took my balls.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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