I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
