nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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