who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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