It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
