She said her name was "party"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
