you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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