you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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