Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
