I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
whose parrot is this?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
