I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
