I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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