your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
