Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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