I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
