Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
