i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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