no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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