I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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