You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i will never coherently bang her
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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