I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
ok first of all what the fuck
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
