i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Randomize
