walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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